Beautiful, Bountiful Butterflies

I think my lithium level has finally gotten to where it's supposed to be. This past week I've been feeling much calmer (aside from anxiety over family things), and about 8 x's more organized in my thoughts. I'm not stumbling over my words as much as I was at one point, though I am having problems staying focused on work. I have another appointment on Tuesday, so I'll address that situation with the doctor then. And I have a referral to a therapist, but I haven't used it yet because I need to make sure that I can afford the co-pays and everything. Which is really just an excuse, because I dislike talking to strangers about my background and problems. Just way too complicated and too many things I'd rather not remember.

This weekend was fun. I didn't work at ALL (though I will probably get a couple of hours in tonight after I finish typing this). On Friday, I got off work early (I was already at 47 hours for the week anyway), ran to the grocery store, where almost everything I wanted or needed was on sale. Even pot roasts! And spinach! I ran  home to put the cold stuff away, then had to leave again immediately in order to make my hair appointment (I got a deal for $25 cut/style/color at a 5-star rated salon/spa). My hair stylist was actually the salon owner, who got into the business as a tattoo artist but got burnt out and decided to do something completely new. So the salon is edgy, with waxing and nail services, and in the back, a tattoo parlor. He did a great job with my hair and provided good conversation throughout. I'll be returning to that location. After my hair was finished, I came home, where Ben met me (he gets off work later than I do), and I cooked us a delicious homemade spaghetti dinner with the perfect bottle of Chianti to top it off. Saturday morning, we went hiking with a couple of friends up Squaw Peak, and we actually made it all the way to the top! I was surprised and impressed with ourselves. Afterward, we went back to Ben's and hopped in the hot tub, then got ready for the evening. We went out for some Chicago-style pizza at Oregano's, then watched Contagion at the theater. Today was less busy, but we still got up early, because the Bears' game was at 10 and Ben's friend was DVR-ing it. So we went there for the game, then Ben dropped me off home. Today I haven't done a whole lot except Nap, Laundry, watch Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, and type this.

So.... yeah.

Tuesday we're going to a concert by Trentmoeller, who I don't know, but Ben likes, and Friday we're going to see Louis CK. Saturday we might hike, and in the evening maybe watch the UFC fights. At some point this week, I really need to do some more TREKA work... the overtime at my regular job has just about run out. So, that's what I'm going to do now.

Squirt. Here's a Post.

A few years ago I pretty much said that I give up on trying to rebuild bridges that the other side keeps lighting on fire. Blech.

A lot has happened the last week or so, and some of it I really don't want to get into detail about on here, simply because it doesn't directly involve me. Nevertheless, it was extremely stressful and frustrating, and I became very angry and upset. I'd stopped taking Xanax because I didn't really need it now that I've switched to Lithium, but I had to take a couple this week because the anxiety hit back quite hard.

Last week I worked 52+ hours at my regular job, and some at home for Treka as well. The week before that was about the same. I don't plan to work so much overtime this week, mostly because my project is almost completed. I do plan to work late tonight though, and possibly tomorrow as well. And that should probably be all this week. Wednesday I am going to my wonderful Skeptics in a Pub meet-up group, and my friend might get to stop by beforehand to get a look at my new couch. She hasn't been by since I had any furniture at all, so it has definitely changed.Thursday, Ben got us tickets to see Primus, so that should be fun. And Friday, I am getting my hair done! I'm rather excited about this one - it has been so long  since I went and did anything for myself like that. No pedi's, no hair and no shopping. But anyway, I found a great deal online to get a cut/color/style for only $25 at a salon which has only 5-star reviews thus far. Yay hair!

I think I'm kind of going into an upswing here lately - not that I'm super happy, because I'm not, but I've been sleeping less, working more, talking more, and last night around 9 decided to make a huge batch of redskin potato salad. It is soooo delicious. I also prepared my lunch and snacks for today last night, which is good, because I don't normally have a LOT of time in the mornings to do that. Especially today, because I have to go to the lab to have my blood drawn to make sure my lithium level is high enough. It opens at 7, and I plan to be one of the first, if not THE first client, so I can get to work on time, or just a few minutes late. I still have a few minutes before I have to leave though.

Here's an interesting article: Blue Escapes Death Row.

 I finally got a couch as well. The kittehs love it. Parker is thrilled to feel civilized once more... oh wait. That's me. And Parker too, from all appearances. This is Pounce-Quick the Playful's first couch ever, and so I had to also get him a scratching post with spray-on catnip to keep him from clawing the couch. It seems to be working - I haven't seen him scratching it yet! Anyway, the couch was found at My Sister's Attic for a mere $400, and is in perfect condition.

I also ran by Michael's to get some pictures frames because I don't really care for having blank walls. Makes me feel like I'm in a padded room at an asylum. Gotta have some color. They had some good deals on frames, so I currently now have four pictures hanging on the walls. Next in the shopping queu? A computer desk, a longer ethernet cord (or wireless router) for my laptop so I can sit on the couch with it, a set of nice sheets, and a side/coffee table. And a floor lamp. And eventually a bedroom set.

I'm finally getting paid for my Treka work this week, and am excited for that. It should pay for all of my groceries, so that I don't have to stress about that. It might also even pay for my medical co-pays, with some left over for paying down credit cards. Speaking of which, I put almost $2k on my american express to pay it down with my bonus, and as soon as I did that, I got an email from them stating that my credit limit was lowered to my current balance. Sucky, but doesn't matter because I'm not using that card anyway, and I've been with them for so long I'll be able to get the limit moved back up when it gets paid down some more. *crosses fingers*

Anyway, it's time for me to get going to the lab to get my blood drawn, and while my wonderful sister did tell me about butterfly needles, I think I'll stick with the regular ones just so I can get out of there faster. I'm not really scared of needles - I find it fascinating watching the blood flow out and fill up the vials. Weird? yeah. But you already knew that.

It's Too Early To Write

It's 5:22am, and too early to write, but I felt like I needed to update. Just to say I did, y'know? Less stress, less something that I feel like I need to do.

I started Litheum about a week ago... the week has been decent aside from working soooo hard and sooo much. I have a quarterly bonus coming, and it's much nicer than I thought it would be, but at the same time, I have the opportunity to get a lot of overtime lately, so I've been grabbing that up whenever I can, and working Treka from home whenever I'm home. Last week I worked over fifty hours at my regular job, and a few from home. Would have done more from home, but had a couple of things to do, namely, a Voltaire concert (be still, my heart), and spending Saturday with Ben. Regardless, yesterday (Sunday), I went in for a couple of hours, and I'm up early this morning in hopes that I'll get an extra hour this morning, and then some this afternoon. I'm kind of tired, but only because I woke up sick at 2am and didn't get back to bed for a bit.

So yeah, that's my life lately. Work, not-much-sleep, doing things, and more work.

Shower time...

Uhm Hmmm.

Well, the psychiatrist agrees with my primary care physician, or PCP, as they refer to him. See, I'm even learning the lingo. She thinks that I am probably bipolar, albeit, bi-polar type II, which is less severe than regular bi-polar disorder.The actual visit wasn't as bad as I thought... the Dr. looks like she is about my age, maybe a few years older, so it's kind of like talking to a friend-type of person, who is qualified and knows what they're talking about.

However, I had a terrible night that night. I went home to bed and stared at the ceiling for hours. The apartment was a mess, the kitties were ignoring me, and I hadn't eaten, and I just didn't care. Ben came over later  that evening and we laid in bed and talked and he made me eat... Good Ben.

Since then, I am pretty sure I'm on an up-swing. Friday night was kind of euphoric - full of energy and talking and loving food. Saturday was also good. We hung around Ben's place and watched a lot of True Blood, did some grocery shopping, cooked dinner at his place and shared a bottle of wine. Sunday was a football game in the morning, and then I took a nap at his place... was feeling really tired until we got back to my place, where I kind of snapped out of it and into something... else. We went to World Market and Pier One, where I found a nice lamp (:-D), then to Keegan's for some comfort food and a beer, then to Safeway because I had to get some light bulbs for the lamp. Then we came home, and I went on a cleaning spree. Cleaned the kitchen, picked up the living room, rearranged the bookshelf, cleaned the bathroom and scrubbed the floor... still wasn't sleepy so we played some Mancala and Rummy til midnight when I decided I should probably decide to try to sleep and Ben went home.

And this morning, my eyes snapped right open and I'm awake and ready to go! And my thoughts (i've noticed all weekend) are running around... there's always a song in the back my head, and a bajillion different random thoughts bouncing around at the same time (also symptomatic of the manic side of bipolar).

And now I have to run to work... maybe I'll write more in here later today.