Lately, I've been so tired. But right now, I'm wondering where the hell all of my rings have gone. I'm missing a black cocktail ring, which I *know* is around here somewhere, because I wore it to work several times this fall. Also missing is a silver one. I'm also missing a big silver hoop earring. *pouty face*
At any rate, I've been tired because 1) I've been working 2) been trying to study my LOMA course, 3) trying to write my book, and 4) playing Castleville all the damn time *facepalm*.
Work is going well. I have been determined to be purely professional and friendly, and that's what I have done, regardless of how I feel inside. LOMA isn't faring quite so well, though it should because once this book is completed, I get a $500 bonus, and I have a Vegas trip coming up in March, which would be very nice to have $500 for. Or to have money to shop for clothes for.
My book is steadily coming along. I need to stop and make an outline soon. Right now I'm just writing little scenes here and there, to be pieced together later. Content is key. Once I have content, I can rearrange it to make sense. I <3 my english prof. She looks like my grandma - the one who encouraged me to write, and the one who planted my imagination in stories. She gets it when I talk about writing and ideas that haven't been fully formed, and stumbling blocks that I run into all the time. It's awesome to be able to talk to someone who understands the writing process.
Castleville... *shakes head*. I'm at an insane level. Like, (hold on while I check the other tab in my browser) level 26. It's crazy. I'm addicted to leveling.
And TIRED. Last night I stayed up til 12:30 reading a Steven King book, "The Eyes of the Dragon" which turned out to be a really engrossing read; so much so that I thought it was only 10:30, but actually after midnight. 5:30 AM comes really early nowadays.
This weekend, Ben and I went hiking. I actually got a decent amount of 'beth time' this weekend, since he went to see a friend on saturday, and we spend sunday afternoon apart. Sunday morning, we did go hiking, however. It was 77 degrees outside and I got burnt. It felt great. Speaking of exercise, this wednesday is the first week of my work-sponsored yoga class. There are 15 of us who will meet downstairs for an hour every wednesday for six months to do instructor-led yoga. I am very happy about this :-)
I'm also finally feeling in-control of my finances. Of course, I have always been, but things are manageable now. Now for that tax return... and LOMA bonus... I've promised myself an awesome sushi dinner upon pay-off of my big credit card. That should be happening next week. :-D
But, we're going to the Melting Pot on that Friday, for their Valentine's Day special, so the sushi dinner may have to wait for the following weekend. We'll see.
After the 10th, we don't have any plans til the end of the month, which is great because it'll give us some time to save up for Vegas and for me to pay down my other credit card...
Should I get a pedi tomorrow? Or should I do my toes tonight? Something needs to be done before yoga starts...
Monday, January 30, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
I CAN, Peaches.
If my sister can write a blog post today, so can I! Granted, mine will not be populated with pictures of adorable little kids or kitties or couples, but you'll get over it.
I... am in a weird spot lately. I feel weird. I feel weird. My brain has been going a thousand miles per hour, OK, it was, now it's back down to a few hundred miles per hour, and I'm so full of indecisiveness and "what-ifs" and "should I's" and "I should's" and "I have to's".
Never mind. Let's get down the blog posting, shall we?
I was supposed to be taking two classes this semester; one of them was canceled. The class that remains is only a one-credit course, with random meetings with my instructor, and assigned readings which might help with my writing. Easy, won't take a lot of time, perfect. Except I really wanted to take that other class, and I'm bummed out that it was canceled. Now I have to wait until next semester and see if it will happen then! Anyway, I've been using some of my spare time the past two months to actually work on my writing. I've written one complete short story, and started re-working my historical fiction novel - again, from a different point of view.
Today, I had my first meeting with the professor, and she was reviewing my latest work, which I sent her last week. She thought my completed short story had some good things going on (granted, it is a cliche, predictable myth-type story), she thought my Jesus story, which I started a while ago for laughs, needed a lot of work (I agree), and she Really Liked my historical fiction work. Which is good, because the damn story has been in my head for over a decade. Wrap your mind around that.
God Damn, I'm Old.
In good news, after my tax return, I will have my largest credit card completely paid off.
Work has been going alright - I have determined to be absolutely flawless in my professional aspect. I'm not saying I won't mistakes, but they won't be stupid mistakes. I will keep my mouth shut unless I have something constructive to say, which means I need to be thinking of a of constructive things to say. I will remain positive, and if I'm having a bad day, just smile through it. I made myself a notepad file for instructions for bad days, mainly to remind myself to smile because everyone can see me, and to remember that it's Just a Job, and I get to go home at the end of the day. And if they day is particularly bad, I'll plan to do something for myself when I do get home, such as a hot bath, or a pedi, or some kind of treat like that.
The reason for that resolution is because I have realized that in order to have the lifestyle I want, I am going to have to create that for myself. And I will.
It's just hard to make myself keep writing... even though I know that my writing is the one thing that has the potential to ricochet myself into the lifestyle I want (which isn't that much - all I want is a house with a pool and lots of windows and a vaulted ceiling, and lots of time to sit in the sun) - all I have to do is stick with it, which is SO much easier said than done.
Aside from all of that, I've been really having some down times. Times when all of my doubts, fears, uncertainties and failures come swelling up like an unwanted tide. I've been doing a decent job of fighting them back, but fighting is hard. It takes energy, and when I'm out of energy, either from not sleeping enough, or not exercising enough, or from expending all of my energy in other places, it's hard to summon the strength to tell myself, You CAN.
I... am in a weird spot lately. I feel weird. I feel weird. My brain has been going a thousand miles per hour, OK, it was, now it's back down to a few hundred miles per hour, and I'm so full of indecisiveness and "what-ifs" and "should I's" and "I should's" and "I have to's".
Never mind. Let's get down the blog posting, shall we?
I was supposed to be taking two classes this semester; one of them was canceled. The class that remains is only a one-credit course, with random meetings with my instructor, and assigned readings which might help with my writing. Easy, won't take a lot of time, perfect. Except I really wanted to take that other class, and I'm bummed out that it was canceled. Now I have to wait until next semester and see if it will happen then! Anyway, I've been using some of my spare time the past two months to actually work on my writing. I've written one complete short story, and started re-working my historical fiction novel - again, from a different point of view.
Today, I had my first meeting with the professor, and she was reviewing my latest work, which I sent her last week. She thought my completed short story had some good things going on (granted, it is a cliche, predictable myth-type story), she thought my Jesus story, which I started a while ago for laughs, needed a lot of work (I agree), and she Really Liked my historical fiction work. Which is good, because the damn story has been in my head for over a decade. Wrap your mind around that.
God Damn, I'm Old.
In good news, after my tax return, I will have my largest credit card completely paid off.
Work has been going alright - I have determined to be absolutely flawless in my professional aspect. I'm not saying I won't mistakes, but they won't be stupid mistakes. I will keep my mouth shut unless I have something constructive to say, which means I need to be thinking of a of constructive things to say. I will remain positive, and if I'm having a bad day, just smile through it. I made myself a notepad file for instructions for bad days, mainly to remind myself to smile because everyone can see me, and to remember that it's Just a Job, and I get to go home at the end of the day. And if they day is particularly bad, I'll plan to do something for myself when I do get home, such as a hot bath, or a pedi, or some kind of treat like that.
The reason for that resolution is because I have realized that in order to have the lifestyle I want, I am going to have to create that for myself. And I will.
It's just hard to make myself keep writing... even though I know that my writing is the one thing that has the potential to ricochet myself into the lifestyle I want (which isn't that much - all I want is a house with a pool and lots of windows and a vaulted ceiling, and lots of time to sit in the sun) - all I have to do is stick with it, which is SO much easier said than done.
Aside from all of that, I've been really having some down times. Times when all of my doubts, fears, uncertainties and failures come swelling up like an unwanted tide. I've been doing a decent job of fighting them back, but fighting is hard. It takes energy, and when I'm out of energy, either from not sleeping enough, or not exercising enough, or from expending all of my energy in other places, it's hard to summon the strength to tell myself, You CAN.
Monday, January 2, 2012
TO 2012
It's resolution time again... the last resolution time ever, if the Mayan theorists are correct.
So far, I haven't really thought about resolutions - the whole holiday season this year has actually been kind of weird for me. So anyway, I was thinking about resolutions, and pretty much the only one I thought of is something that I was planning to do anyway, and it doesn't really have much to do with self-betterment, but it here it is:
1. Pay off all credit card debt.
Then I started looking at the resolutions that I made last year (and kept, for the most part). Be more active, only 1 bottle of wine a week (yes, I believe I made this!), Parker only gets one can of treats a week, and Be More Aware. The only one I spectacularly failed at was 'Finish a rough draft of Pauly (or some other novel). That led to my second resolution:
2. No more writing resolutions.
Now I'm out of resolutions, and I haven't said anything about diet, exercise or weight. I think I'm OK with not doing that this year. Living in Arizona lends itself to more activity, and I also feel better when I exercise, so I'm just going to take that knowledge and utilize it. Sound like a New Years Resolution? It's not... Not really.
I really don't know any other resolutions to make, other than 'Be Happy, Be Yourself, and Be Your Best'.
So far, I haven't really thought about resolutions - the whole holiday season this year has actually been kind of weird for me. So anyway, I was thinking about resolutions, and pretty much the only one I thought of is something that I was planning to do anyway, and it doesn't really have much to do with self-betterment, but it here it is:
1. Pay off all credit card debt.
Then I started looking at the resolutions that I made last year (and kept, for the most part). Be more active, only 1 bottle of wine a week (yes, I believe I made this!), Parker only gets one can of treats a week, and Be More Aware. The only one I spectacularly failed at was 'Finish a rough draft of Pauly (or some other novel). That led to my second resolution:
2. No more writing resolutions.
Now I'm out of resolutions, and I haven't said anything about diet, exercise or weight. I think I'm OK with not doing that this year. Living in Arizona lends itself to more activity, and I also feel better when I exercise, so I'm just going to take that knowledge and utilize it. Sound like a New Years Resolution? It's not... Not really.
I really don't know any other resolutions to make, other than 'Be Happy, Be Yourself, and Be Your Best'.
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