I decided on Friday last week to stop taking my meds. So far, so good. I've had a couple of 'down days', but nothing terrible or intrusive. The side effects were just too much - as I told Ben, "I can handle ups and downs, but I can't handle headaches every day." I was feeling like an invalid - all shaky and unsure of my footing, with tremors and typos and foggy head. Now everything is MUCH better. I may still go for therapy in the future, but first things first.
And one of the first things is: Christmas. I have most of my minimal Christmas shopping completed, with only a few stragglers left to take care of.
The other, most important, first thing is: School. Tuesday I am sitting in on a class by an instructor who may possibly grant me entry into his class in January if he is impressed enough by my sample work and work ethic. Once I sit in, I can find out one way or the other and sign up for those classes (I'll be taking two classes next semester).
Finally, I *can* sign up because I just got two unexpected refunds on my credit cards. Which brings them both under the $2k mark. It's difficult not to use them for Christmas shopping, but I have restrained myself thus far, and will not use them at all except for my classes :-) Yay for self control.
Speaking of self-control, I am debating turning on the heat in my apartment. My electric bill is estimated to be $35 this month, but my fingers are cold as I'm typing, and whenever I'm home, I need socks, pants and usually a blanket. Which is cozy, but still. Guess I should just stop opening the sliding balcony door.
For Thanksgiving this year, I cooked dinner for Ben and his mom. It was my first time meeting her, and she seemed like a typical euro mom. A little more gregarious than some, but she's an airline attendant, and so I imagine she's used to talking a bit more. The dinner turned out really great (whew!) and now Ben has plenty of leftovers in his fridge. It's fair, because one of his friends gave us a bag of homeade chocolate chip cookies and I put them in my take-out bag (which also contains a big hunk of prime rib and mashed potatoes. MMMMM), so, you know the saying: Possession is 9/10's of Ownership. The cookies are MINE. I actually had one with a glass of milk for dinner. Delicious.
I had planned on finishing Grandma's story this weekend, but it turned out to be a little busier than planned, so I should go work on that now.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Contradictory
This weekend I pulled up wikipedia to see what the side effects of my lithium are, because I've been having a lot of very bad headaches. I was *not* happy to see that lithium increases the risk of significant weight gain, or that it's a medicine I won't be able to take for more than a few years because of kidney interference. But the other meds also had bad side effects...
So far, I've been drinking waaaay less alcohol. It just doesn't sound good anymore. Unless it's frozen. I've also been losing weight again, contrary to the side effects of lithium. It might be because I'm more busy, physically and mentally, at work, and don't have the time or boredom to snack. It could be because I've been being satisfied by smaller quantities. Nevertheless, it's nice to be below 120 again.
Speaking of work, it's great to be back in the old department, even if it HAS changed (+2 new people, -1 of my favorite people). It's taking a little bit of time, but the old procedures are coming back. Insofar as my second job, I've only gotten one paycheck so far, so I quit working until I get paid. It's nice not to have to work when I get home from work. Plus, I've been very frugal. Cutting coupons, buying out of the bargain bin, no sushi, no buying alcohol (I broke this rule only once so far, because the wine bottles were $4 - good wine too!), no clothes (I broke this one too, b/c I had a shopping urge and needed tampons. But the scarf was only $3, so there.), and less electricity. I can't remember the last time I ran my A/C, the heat has never been on, and the big balcony door has been open every night and nice day. My electric bill this month was only $44. I'm going to start turning off my computers every night now, to see if I can't get the bill even lower. Gotta pay for christmas shopping somehow, you know? :-) Plus, I just want to see how low I can get that damned bill.
Speaking of christmas shopping, I've already got my mom taken care of, part of Ben's done, and part of my nieces/nephews. Now I just have all three sisters and the rest of Ben's to do. I plan to write a story for my grandma for christmas, and maybe send a box of chocolate with it.
The kitties have been doing great. They love the fresh air from the balcony door, and I recently put down two cardboard boxes lined with fleece blankets. I put them side by side along the wall, and that's where the kitties hang out, especially when it's cooler, unless they see that I too have a blanket. Then they want to cuddle with me.
That's all for now. I have to go plot a storyline for a couple of shorts.
So far, I've been drinking waaaay less alcohol. It just doesn't sound good anymore. Unless it's frozen. I've also been losing weight again, contrary to the side effects of lithium. It might be because I'm more busy, physically and mentally, at work, and don't have the time or boredom to snack. It could be because I've been being satisfied by smaller quantities. Nevertheless, it's nice to be below 120 again.
Speaking of work, it's great to be back in the old department, even if it HAS changed (+2 new people, -1 of my favorite people). It's taking a little bit of time, but the old procedures are coming back. Insofar as my second job, I've only gotten one paycheck so far, so I quit working until I get paid. It's nice not to have to work when I get home from work. Plus, I've been very frugal. Cutting coupons, buying out of the bargain bin, no sushi, no buying alcohol (I broke this rule only once so far, because the wine bottles were $4 - good wine too!), no clothes (I broke this one too, b/c I had a shopping urge and needed tampons. But the scarf was only $3, so there.), and less electricity. I can't remember the last time I ran my A/C, the heat has never been on, and the big balcony door has been open every night and nice day. My electric bill this month was only $44. I'm going to start turning off my computers every night now, to see if I can't get the bill even lower. Gotta pay for christmas shopping somehow, you know? :-) Plus, I just want to see how low I can get that damned bill.
Speaking of christmas shopping, I've already got my mom taken care of, part of Ben's done, and part of my nieces/nephews. Now I just have all three sisters and the rest of Ben's to do. I plan to write a story for my grandma for christmas, and maybe send a box of chocolate with it.
The kitties have been doing great. They love the fresh air from the balcony door, and I recently put down two cardboard boxes lined with fleece blankets. I put them side by side along the wall, and that's where the kitties hang out, especially when it's cooler, unless they see that I too have a blanket. Then they want to cuddle with me.
That's all for now. I have to go plot a storyline for a couple of shorts.
Monday, November 14, 2011
11/14/2011
SO TIRED.
It's only 9:21.
I'm trying to work on a story for my grandma for christmas, and I think I have picked an idea to flesh out, but it's difficult right now. I have some other ideas too, which I've kept record of in my phone, in random notebooks, and on my laptop. And my desktop. They're scattered all over the place.
Joy.
Whatever I write, it needs to have a good plot because I don't want a boring story. I'm excellent at description, decent at dialogue, but horrible with plots. This will be interesting, because I'm determined to do it.
But now... bed.
By the way, online tarot card readings are just plain crappy.
It's only 9:21.
I'm trying to work on a story for my grandma for christmas, and I think I have picked an idea to flesh out, but it's difficult right now. I have some other ideas too, which I've kept record of in my phone, in random notebooks, and on my laptop. And my desktop. They're scattered all over the place.
Joy.
Whatever I write, it needs to have a good plot because I don't want a boring story. I'm excellent at description, decent at dialogue, but horrible with plots. This will be interesting, because I'm determined to do it.
But now... bed.
By the way, online tarot card readings are just plain crappy.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Making Things Work
I discovered last night that my meds won't last til my last appointment. That's not necessarily a problem since the dr can send the prescription to my pharmacy; the problem is that I have to pay a co-pay for them, and all I'd budgeted was for my next appointments' copay. I could put it on my credit card, but as noted in my last post, I'm not using those except for classes now.
Today I went through my clothes and sorted the ones I don't want anymore, or can't wear anymore (b/c of the boobs), into two piles - one pile which can be consigned, and one pile to donate to goodwill. I took the consign pile down to a shop which gives cash or store credit. They only select seasonal clothes, and most of mine were summer. However, they took three shirts that I haven't worn in years, and a pair of Puma's I've only worn a few times (because they are too big and hurt my feet), and I got $20 out of the deal. $20 for 4 items I never wear? = $20 for my meds copay. Sweet!
This afternoon I got some work done on Treka, and will do some more later tonight, maybe.
I can't wait until everything really falls together and I can spend more time with Ben and my friends and relax and have fun without worrying all the time.
Today I went through my clothes and sorted the ones I don't want anymore, or can't wear anymore (b/c of the boobs), into two piles - one pile which can be consigned, and one pile to donate to goodwill. I took the consign pile down to a shop which gives cash or store credit. They only select seasonal clothes, and most of mine were summer. However, they took three shirts that I haven't worn in years, and a pair of Puma's I've only worn a few times (because they are too big and hurt my feet), and I got $20 out of the deal. $20 for 4 items I never wear? = $20 for my meds copay. Sweet!
This afternoon I got some work done on Treka, and will do some more later tonight, maybe.
I can't wait until everything really falls together and I can spend more time with Ben and my friends and relax and have fun without worrying all the time.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Good Things
I'm going to try to write this post, but it might turn out boring or annoying, as the main things on my mind right now are 1) Food, 2) Things to Do, 3) $$ and 4) Goals. Oh, and Hanky Panky. But that will be taken care of tonight, as will the food.
Hmm. Let me break this down to make it easier for myself.
Pychiatrist/Med Drama
This area is going pretty well. As I mentioned in my last post, I think the lithium level is where it needs to be. I've been on a rather even keel. My stress level has gone down somewhat because my thoughts are much more organized. I decided to hold off on the therapy side of things, because of the following area...
$$$
Well, I've obviously talked about this enough in past posts. So today I'm just going to mention that in addition to my budget, I have listed out my goals in order of priority, and mapped out ways to make those goals happen, as well as rewards for completing said goals. First thing, I'm not buying any more alcohol. Honestly, that's the first thing that should and can go. That's not to say I won't drink it; I will, but only if someone gives it to me, or if I already have it in the house. However, this is going to be very difficult as Ben and I often go to events and concerts where drinking is expected. So I'm going to try this plan: everytime I feel like I would purchase a drink or two, I won't, and instead I'll go home take that $$ out of my bank and put it on my card. I've also banned sushi. Sigh. On the up-side, my reward for reaching the first goal (paying off my largest credit card) is a nice sushi dinner with sake. That will be a meal to look forward to, because the satisfaction will make the heretofore banned sushi and sake that much more delicious. Then on to the next goals. I have separated these into about 4 goals. When I reach ALL of those goals, I will take at least one day off work to get a pedi, massage and go shopping, before having a delicious Melting Pot or steak (or sushi) dinner that evening. So, I think my goals are feasible, but the limitations and sacrifices I put on myself to reach those goals will be frustrating.
Work
Very good things! On Monday, I start working in Marketing Development - the same department I was working in before I moved to Ohio. The people are good, the work is infinitely more interesting, I'll get to travel again, be classified as a 'specialist' (meaning larger bonuses), and have my old awesome boss back.
School
That's right. I'm starting school in January. I am one of 10-12 people in the entire district who was accepted into the Creative Writing Certificate Program this semester. I met with the head of the program on Tuesday... and was completely overwhelmed with how at-ease she put me, her (and other instructors) reviews of my portfolio, and the benefits for certificate students. She even volunteered herself to be my mentor for the three one-on-one courses which are required, even though we'd have to do the meeting after 4, which she doesn't prefer to do. I cried happy sobs and tears for most of the evening. I feel so validated and re-inspired. Help IS out there. I just have to look for it.
Okay, those are my areas. Ben and I are still doing quite well - I'm happy with him, but we're still taking things slow. I've acquired a fondness for coupons, and have a binder to keep them in. Who knows if I'll use them, though. The quiznos and subways 'BOGO's are pretty nice to have around. I've also begun cooking things in large quantities and freezing them for future dinners and lunches. That's mostly soup though. Not meat or pasta, because, frozen pasta? Eww.
I'm also trying to move around and exercise more. Now that the meds have leveled, I'm feeling more energetic. Tomorrow is the JDRF Walk (juvenile diabetes research foundation), and Tempe is the world largest JDRF walk ever. Ben and I will be going and alternating between jogging/walking the 5k. Since it's cooled down outside, we'll also be hiking on the weekends.
Wow, so that got long. I'm going to close it for now and maybe do some TREKA work. Or clean things a little more before Ben gets here for the night.
Hmm. Let me break this down to make it easier for myself.
Pychiatrist/Med Drama
This area is going pretty well. As I mentioned in my last post, I think the lithium level is where it needs to be. I've been on a rather even keel. My stress level has gone down somewhat because my thoughts are much more organized. I decided to hold off on the therapy side of things, because of the following area...
$$$
Well, I've obviously talked about this enough in past posts. So today I'm just going to mention that in addition to my budget, I have listed out my goals in order of priority, and mapped out ways to make those goals happen, as well as rewards for completing said goals. First thing, I'm not buying any more alcohol. Honestly, that's the first thing that should and can go. That's not to say I won't drink it; I will, but only if someone gives it to me, or if I already have it in the house. However, this is going to be very difficult as Ben and I often go to events and concerts where drinking is expected. So I'm going to try this plan: everytime I feel like I would purchase a drink or two, I won't, and instead I'll go home take that $$ out of my bank and put it on my card. I've also banned sushi. Sigh. On the up-side, my reward for reaching the first goal (paying off my largest credit card) is a nice sushi dinner with sake. That will be a meal to look forward to, because the satisfaction will make the heretofore banned sushi and sake that much more delicious. Then on to the next goals. I have separated these into about 4 goals. When I reach ALL of those goals, I will take at least one day off work to get a pedi, massage and go shopping, before having a delicious Melting Pot or steak (or sushi) dinner that evening. So, I think my goals are feasible, but the limitations and sacrifices I put on myself to reach those goals will be frustrating.
Work
Very good things! On Monday, I start working in Marketing Development - the same department I was working in before I moved to Ohio. The people are good, the work is infinitely more interesting, I'll get to travel again, be classified as a 'specialist' (meaning larger bonuses), and have my old awesome boss back.
School
That's right. I'm starting school in January. I am one of 10-12 people in the entire district who was accepted into the Creative Writing Certificate Program this semester. I met with the head of the program on Tuesday... and was completely overwhelmed with how at-ease she put me, her (and other instructors) reviews of my portfolio, and the benefits for certificate students. She even volunteered herself to be my mentor for the three one-on-one courses which are required, even though we'd have to do the meeting after 4, which she doesn't prefer to do. I cried happy sobs and tears for most of the evening. I feel so validated and re-inspired. Help IS out there. I just have to look for it.
Okay, those are my areas. Ben and I are still doing quite well - I'm happy with him, but we're still taking things slow. I've acquired a fondness for coupons, and have a binder to keep them in. Who knows if I'll use them, though. The quiznos and subways 'BOGO's are pretty nice to have around. I've also begun cooking things in large quantities and freezing them for future dinners and lunches. That's mostly soup though. Not meat or pasta, because, frozen pasta? Eww.
I'm also trying to move around and exercise more. Now that the meds have leveled, I'm feeling more energetic. Tomorrow is the JDRF Walk (juvenile diabetes research foundation), and Tempe is the world largest JDRF walk ever. Ben and I will be going and alternating between jogging/walking the 5k. Since it's cooled down outside, we'll also be hiking on the weekends.
Wow, so that got long. I'm going to close it for now and maybe do some TREKA work. Or clean things a little more before Ben gets here for the night.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)