This is the second time I've come to the altar of the Phoenix. My second visit to the nest of ashes, hoping to be reborn, hoping to rediscover myself. Each time I come, I bring new knowledge, new realizations.
The first visit was about escaping my old life and rebuilding a new one - a life I could be proud of, a life that *I* made, a life that I could live by myself, with no one to judge. And I did it. I thought I was ready, so I spread my wings and flew.
That test flight was short-lived, and I ended up right back in the lap of the ashes. However brief, that stretch of wings brought confidence.
My second flight was farther from home. I flew wide across the country. I learned many things. How to be a good friend, how to be loyal. I learned that I should not allow anyone to take from me those things which are important, and to focus my energy on MY passions, not anyone elses'.
Now, after two years from my last flight, I am back in the ashes, waiting to be reborn. This time will take a little longer, for I plan that my next adventure will be even longer lasting, and better planned. I am taking this time in the nest to plot my goals, heal myself and regain my stength.
I need to rediscover myself - my passions, my likes, my dislikes. Who I Am. Who Am I? I need to regain trust in others, to learn to open myself. I need to learn how to give back to others, to be a giver, not only a taker.
This time around I have brothers and sisters - some in the nest still, others freely flying.
Grow, Flame Feathers, Grow.
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