Sad.

So... it was inevitable. I found pictures of the bad florida boy and his new girlfriend, who he ended up taking on the very next agent trip the month after I left. She's pretty. She looks nice. Poor girl. But... I'm upset. Of course I knew he was seeing other people (hookers)... that's why I left. But...  now they're off having fun with all of my old friends, and I'm sitting here, doped up on depression meds in a half-furnished apartment, $15k in debt that isn't being paid, and warring with myself.

Sigh.

I feel like a failure. Every relationship I try to have ends up in failure.  Every.Single.One.

I'm such a fuck up.

And such a fucked up person.

but I KNOW... I know. I know.

And now the damned nausea is back.