This might be the two glasses of wine talking, but maybe I'm just destined to be fucked up in the head, and maybe I should just deal with it. Maybe I'm doomed to be confused... torn this way and that... vacillating between two completely different, opposing, schools of thought. And I'm talking about relationships here, nothing else, because everything else I think I have mainly (partly?) figured out. I'm SO FREAKING CONFUSED. And I can't make myself take much time alone. Maybe I'm just not good company. That's something to think about. How can other people like being around myself when I'm bored being around myself all the time? But it's not that I'm bored, it's that I'm just... wanting to BE with someone. To talk to, to exchange sarcastic eye contact with... to laugh with.
GARR.
O, I want to cry... but why?! Why, why, why. And yes, I promise, it's only been 2 glasses of wine. Maybe I'm just getting better at acknowledging my feelings?! At least, the conflict between them? I know I must be driving some people crazy with my conflicting statements and requests and actions.
WHAT IS THIS CALLED? IS THIS COMMON? WHY AM I FEELING THESE WAYS?
At any rate, this is my writing for the night.
:( Sorry. Hope things get better soon. Taking time for yourself is hard. Everyone wants to be/spend time with someone. Sad to say, your feelings are normal for the situation but you will find your way soon. <3 you!
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